Question Of The Day
I was lucky enough to spend this past weekend up in the beautiful Berkshires of MA at a retreat hosted by my business coach and mentor. In one of our masterminding sessions, I was asked why I don’t show more of my “real life” (aka, the trials and tribulations of day-to-day life with kids, a new business, crazy days, etc.). The thought was maybe this would help me connect more with my audience.
It’s a good question and not the first time I’ve been asked.
Is Life Really “just a bowl of cherries”?
So let me address the question itself: Do I have “bad” days? Do my kids ever stress me out? Are my husband and I that compatible?
First, yes, I have shitty days. No way around that one. I don’t usually wake up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. Actually, I’d say I pretty much NEVER wake up bright-eyed OR bushy-tailed. Hello?! Sleep ROCKS, and also, I have an autoimmune condition that makes the first hour of my day pretty darned miserable.
Second, yes, my kids can be total PITAs (Pain In The Asses). They’re kids. ‘Nuff said.
However, they actually are quite wonderfully behaved and sweet and funny. But parenting techniques is an entirely different post, for another time.
Third, Rafael and I are actually that compatible and loving! However, we can also be incredibly stubborn and we may sometimes compete for Alpha status. Just sayin’.
Luckily, our personal and family values are nearly identical and we are aligned in all the most important life things.
Rafael is a truly incredible person, father, and husband (and I hope he remembers how much I love him the next time we get into an argument over something stupid).
Danger, Will Robinson
Now back to the question of why I don’t use social media more to bemoan the annoyances of daily life.
Well, honestly, it’s just not the way my brain works. That’s the best way I can describe it. My brain is WIRED to give the majority of its energy to the good in my life. And yes, that means even finding the good in the “not so good” stuff.
My mom will tell you I was born that way, and there’s certainly truth to that. But the other part of it is that I have INTENTIONALLY worked on that particular aspect of my mindset.
Our brains are naturally wired to place the most emphasis on and energy towards the unpleasant, the bad, the scary, the name-your-shitty-experience. That’s survival instinct. You brain goes all “Danger, Will Robinson, you must remember not to enter into that shit-fest ever again!” And thusly the synaptic connections are formed.
So if I post about the craptastic stuff that happens, I’m intentionally wiring my neural pathways in a negative mindset direction.
Um, no thanks.
Make Neural Pathways Your Friend
So please understand, I don’t share with you all of the good because I want to create an unrealistic image of our lives.
I post my favorite memories and the beautiful side of life because I am CHOOSING for my brain to assign connections that lead to positivity, love, and the joy that is this planet, and human connection.
It is my choice to live and to think of and remember my life in a blissful manner.
My Choice.
It’s Your Party and You Can Cry If You Want To
Or you can learn to laugh.
Because it does not mean that your kids won’t all simultaneously projectile vomit all over the backset (and floor, and windows) of your rental car while in the middle of nowheresville in another country. Yeah, that happened.
The point is, the way you look at life, the way you remember your stories, the way you interact with the world, is a CHOICE.
Your Choice.
So as you assess your life, in hindsight and upon reflection, I guarantee you can find all the good and celebrate all the things you’ve learned along the way from the hard shit.
Retrain Your Brain.
With Love,
Daria
